Friday, November 15, 2013

International Fan Problems: No Breathing

Swimming is one of the most unappreciated sports ever. That statement is a little intense, but that is how I feel. I swam competitively from 1997-2011 and have taught swimming classes and coached a swim team, so needless to say it's kind of important to me. The summer Olympics is one of the best things ever because I get to watch swimming and it is one of the most popular events so it is pretty readily available, but it's only once every four years! Oh, the humanity!!!

So, when I heard that Korea was making a swimming movie, I sat up and paid attention because something that happens even less then televised swimming is swimming related movies. And not only was it going to be a movie about swimming, oh no, it was going to have Lee Jong Suk and Seo In Guk. Glory hallelujah!!

When this poster came out, the first thing that I began to do was look at their choice of swim suit and goggles, because apparently I am a giant weirdo. It wasn't "sexy shirtless guys", no, it was "I really like Seo In Guk's goggles and swim suit". I am not as impressed with Lee Jong Suk's goggles, they're not as nice. I'm just glad that neither of them are wearing swedes because those are so uncomfortable even though they are really good racing goggles. Vanquishers for the win!

At the same time though, I am really scared of this movie. Like, really scared. Because I have been around water so much, I can't watch swimming without looking at a persons stroke and breaking it down. This is why I literally can't even deal with all the swimming scenes in Boys Over Flowers because they are all suppose to be these really good swimmers when they are really only fairly competent at best. They aren't going to die, but they certainly are going to be winning any competitions. Do you hear that Jan Di? You were never going to the Olympics! Whoever told you that is a big fat lying liar head!

Take this poster for example:

Whoever is in the water looks really good. He has a good streamline and because I don't know where the water line is, I can't say if he is diving too deep or not, but it looks good for the picture. He also has a really nice looking fast suit. That bottom picture though. Who dives like that? Seriously! It's like he doesn't know if he is suppose to be doing a relay start or an individual race start. And why are his feet so close together? You are going to get no distance standing like that, you either commit to a full frog dive or a track start. He's standing like a five year old learning how to dive.

Since I am on the topic of diving I am going to continue. I understand that diving is hard, but I am going to rip them apart anyways, because that's what I do. Let's go to the trailer shall we?

We see our main guys getting ready for their race, they go down, and the buzzer goes off.

Lee Jong Suk is lane 5 and Seo In Guk is in lane 4 and they both look pretty good. Seo In Guk shouldn't be looking forward in his dive because it slows you down, but I do that too sometimes, so I can't really fault him. Lane three also looks a little slow off the block.

Then we get this sky view and I want to weep. At the left we have lane three who has the best looking dive of the bunch. Then we go to Seo In Guk and his leg position is horrendous. When he actually hits the water his legs come together but his knees bend and I wouldn't be surprised if he hurt himself a little. All his forward momentum was stopped  that's for sure. Lee Jong Suk could be better but at least his legs are generally in the same area. Then that poor guy in lane six hasn't even gotten off the block yet. Oh man. 

You see? This is what goes on in my mind when I see things like this. I have a problem.

The best part of the trailer though is after Seo In Guk swims some ridiculous distance and then throws himself onto the deck and is gasping for air (I've done that before). Two guys come to check him out and the coach asks what he is saying as Seo In Guk lays there dying. It turns out that he is just hungry. There is so much truth in this scene you don't even know.

Now, after all of that blather, what is my International Fan Problem? Well, you can probably guess what it is, I want to see it now! Now I say! Secretly Greatly took about four and a half months to be subbed and uploaded, ain't nobody got time for that! In the grand scheme of things that is a very short amount of time, but it still makes me sad.

What am I watching? 

Heirs - I kind of want a Young Do and Eun Sang related plot twist. Is there anyone out there with me?

Marry Him if You Dare - I'm thinking that someones face is going to get kissed next week.  

~ Alora

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